Wolf Song

I relized last night how soiled Sweetbreeze is. How selfish I have been with it. How many mistakes I made with it. And after all its been through its just to soiled to ever be completly right again and I accept this now. SweetBreeze has seen its days..

I disbanned it and now i will leave it in peace so i can remember it fondly. I told half the pack, those who were stressing me out, to f-off and die, and took the others with me to start a new pack, with new characters. A new beginning.

I want to start completely anew, and leave all of SweetBreeze behind. So with that Ill start a new journal, with my new character my new journal is AmythistMyst.

I guess one could concider this my formal fairwell to my former pack.

To SweetBreeze:

My pack, My family, My strength. That what you use to be to me. Now you are a burden I feel I have to bear all alone because I feel that no one cares enough to help me. I have always tried to be more then just your alpha, I try to be your friend. Many of you have said you look to me as a maternal figure, a close friend, and i love it. I want to be able to help you all IC and OOC. I want to be able to share your thoughts and feelings without fear of repremend and such.

But now, Now we are not a family. We are something twisted and grotesque, mutated from what use to be a family into a squabbling knot of meaningless fights, arugements and other such things. Everyone feels the need to defend themselves, to be on edge, practically looking for what MIGHT be an insult or for what MAY be a strike at your pride or ego. Its pathetic and I honestly pity you all for that.

I remember a time when fights were so rare among my members it was practically unheard of. Now it is expected. I dread coming on the computer each day cause I have to deal with this. I fear to leave cause i know when i do, others will start. I remember a time when we could OOC and RP at once, jokeing and laughing and playing in the ooc and getting in good hours of roleplay. I remember a time when sweetbreeze was my proudest achievement, and now, im practically embarassed of it because it remindes me of a once great neighborhood that has gone to the dogs.

I love sweetbreeze. I put my sweat and blood into it for the last two years and i take alot of the blame for the mutation it has taken on. I shouldnt have been so selfish as to join with Kasie to Create NightHunters for myself. I shouldnt have "pushed" if that is what you want to call it, Dante away. I shouldnt have done alot of things and Im sorry to each and everyone of you for putting you through that. Some time between Dante's departure, and the rebirth of SB after NightHunters we underwent some horrific change, some gastly mutation that has twisted us in to a pack of rabid dogs that are to mindlessly driven by our own need to see what would be good for the pack as a whole.

Im done with the fighting, im done with the arguements. From now on, anything that even SEEMS to be the start of an arguement will result in a kick, if you do not bite your tongue and suck it up after that, a 24 hour ban will be set. If you dont like it - tough.

I say now that I dont want apologies, I dont want the "oh ill do better" bullshit. Show me, Show me there is a reason for me to keep sweetbreeze around other then that it is like a living breathing thing to me, something i created and love so dearly. Give me a reason to look forward to being on and not have to worry each time i leave. Dont tell me, Show me. If you dont want to help my family, then I kindly ask that you back the fuck up and stay way from my family and stay the hell out of our channels.

So I wake up to my two 14 year old brothers bouncing on my bed like bunnehs and was like WTF and they are all "EVERYONE IS DOWNSTAIRS WAITING FOR JU!!" Im like huh? But i guess everyone woke up a bit early to open presence so we went down stairs and opened our presents. I got a really comfy pair of PJs, A linksys and a laptop and a bunch of stocking suffers. i have spent all day on my laptop, configuring it and loading everything up. Well I get on and I hear people had been arging. who argues on xmas? freaking weirdos. well i leave and come back and find out that there was MORE arguing -_- god so I just put the channel on moderate and threaten to keep it there all day. Of course i didnt i lifted it and left. When i came back again everyone was saying that Darcella and Scout got into it.

Its not very often that I defend natasha completely but in this case I do. She knows how much I hate people cussing up a storm. well Darcella was doing it and she told her, in a less then polite way (which i dont defend) to stop. Well darcella went all hot headed causeshe has a hell of a temper. So everyone got all pissy and Rannoch got power happy and banned and kicked everyone. Darcella and Ran said they were leaving. It was all pitifully dramatic. Anyway they both came back min later all "Nvm. no leave. jk" and stuff so yeah they were just pissy.

Well that was fallowed by Kalari making her usual "well get use to everyone blaming you happens to me all the time here" and stuf like that, which mind oyu is annoying. once or twice is fine but in the last 4 times i have seen her she has said something to that effect. Dont get me wrong i love kalleh to death but she is quick to temper and stopping her without banning/kicking her is like stopping a force of nature. I understand she feels some need to defend herself against words typed on the computer by a random person, but seriously does it always have to be in my channels? I dont care who says what when where and how, as long as you guys have the ability to shut up long enough to take it to PM.

I was telling everyone that there was a new rule, that if you dont have something nice to say, dont say anything. I asked everyone if they fully understood that comment. well Kal didnt answer so i figured she was AFK but the next time she typed and i knew she was I Said " Kal: New rule if you-" ect. Well she gets all hot and botherd and puffles up all offended saying WHY IS IT ALWAYS JUST ME. WHAT DID I DO NOW. WHY ARE YOU SCOLDING ME!? and im like ... Jesus christ. Well she keeps on in that fashion and I said somehting along the lines of "if you are going to take everything i say to you as a personal attack then you may as well shouldnt even come in. I love you to death and would love you to stay but i wont have this convo with you every day" Well she gets all huffy again ZOMG SO YOU DONT WANT ME HERE?! -_- right cause thats exactly what i ment when i said " I love you to death and would love you to stay but i wont have this convo-" damn she caught me. Well as im responding the only thing scout said was *Scout`* She didnt say that.. - and Kal looses it, I WASNT FUCKING TALKING TO OYU STFU! -_- so i put the channel on moderate so no one could talk. I told them to drop it. The -second- i took it off moderate Kal says somehting about Scout being a kiss ass. So every time i have ever defended anyone I have been a kiss ass. That makes so much sence -_-

Well after that I just banned her cause i said "everyone stop" and she continued -_- I love her to death but i cant have this crap every day. Im sorry that everytime i say somethng to her she takes it as a personal attack but when im making a generalization and she gets all huffy i wont deal with it. I understand she was having a shitty day but that doesnt give her the right to be super bitch. -_- i really didnt want to ban her but i didnt have much of a choice. She would have kept going until she felt satisfied and i wouldnt let it got that far.

If that makes me the bad guy - sue me.

other then that i just went over to my nana and papas house. <<;

Okay after finding the Lj-ing back and forth was dumb me and Kasie talked on IRC and decided that we are both stupid and everything is good again. See told you all *makes a face*

Now for the fun part of this journal.

Fighting. Not fighting like mine and Kasies were it is justifiable, but just ignorant, starting shit just to start shit, fighing. Why? are you so bored with your life that all you can do is deliberatly start shit or provoke shit from other people just so you ahve something to do? Seriously thats pathetic, immature and just plain..... stupid. Like, idiotically stupid. Not funny stupid, not cool stupid just stupid. Dont do it. -_-;

I created #WolfRumble for these given stupid people to let off some steam.

Okay the next person that says any of the following should be smacked repettitivly.

That I am poaching - fuck you, if your members like my pack better its not my fault instead of bitching why not ask me what im doing that obviously they like better so i can advise you and you could do the same.

That I hate Kasie - Im irrated with her, im hurt by her and I could punch her in the face right now but that DOSNT mean I hate her. We are sisters, we fight. It will be nasty for a while but later we will laught about it. Unless you know me and Kasie, and if your saying this obviously you dont, Shut your fucking mouth.

That I am trying to make NR members join SB (same as poaching but different topic) Im sorry if i talk to them i was unaware that talking to old friends in a different pack wasnt aloud. Fuck off

That I am taking in anyone I can get - I have ALWAYS accepted anyone that wanted to join SB even if they had already been exciled. I have lewie on the excile list like 3 times as diff characters. Dont like it? Dont visit.


If i hear anymore of this stuff i will loose my mind and go ape shit on you all. Fuck you all that say that and have a merry fucking xmas.

So apparently -I- Disbanned NightHunters according to Kasie. I tried to be nice and go onto the Cbox on the NightHunters website and just say the pack has been disbanned and that if you wanted to follow Dagda email her, if you want to follow Kasie, contact her. Well then Kasie goes on and puts "Dagda Disbanned the pack, if you'd like to follow Wyntir Pm her." WTF kinda bullshit is that?

ScreenShot


*Dagda`* okay, if we start a new pack, i say that members choose if they want to change characters and my only stipulation is that all rules need to be fallowed all the time.
*FrostFang`* Whoa..what?
* Wyntir shrugs.
*Dagda`* Frost: Shit hit the fan
*Wyntir* Big time.
*FrostFang`* Can I ask how?
*Dagda`* If i stay in wolf RP i want to be with you and flames.
*Dagda`* But... I watn to be treated as an alpha too..
*Wyntir* Who says yuo dont?
*Wyntir* You are more than I am.
*Dagda`* I mean by you.
*Dagda`* We are both use to being single alphas
*Wyntir* What's that supposed to mean.
*Wyntir* I've let you do mostly whatever you wanted.
*Dagda`* and we both thend to forget that we have each other now.
*Wyntir* Never made a decision without you.
*Dagda`* You let rules slide when you choose to break them yourselves. We agreed we wouldnt let the channels turn into a sailors ship with cussing. We agreed that the sexual topics would bebrought down to a bare minimum
*Wyntir* I cuss, I wont be hypocritical about it.
* Dagda` cusses too
*Dagda`* but we dont need everyone always
*Dagda`* shit
*Dagda`* piss
*Dagda`* fuck
*Dagda`* all the time
*Wyntir* Heh,
*Dagda`* i dont mine a bit in convo but if every two lines Weye has to yell at someone
*Wyntir* Which I found extremely annoying.
*Dagda`* thats how we know there is too much cussing - the main purpose of the script
*Wyntir* But, anyways.
*Dagda`* it is annoying
*Dagda`* but since we all are use to cussing we overlook it
*Dagda`* Weye catches it
*Wyntir* No point in arguing. Or we wont get anywhere. *is sick of it already.*
* Dagda` is making her poing
*Dagda`* point*
*Dagda`* I want it to work
*Wyntir* You dont NEED to make your point.
*Wyntir* I'm not stupid, I know exactly what you mean.
* Flames growls softly and sighs.
* Dagda` sits tail flicking
*Dagda`* Fine Point made
* Dagda` slumps down.
* Wyntir puts a muzzle on Flames.
*Flames* What's the point of this place if all we do is fight?
* Flames growls some more.
*Wyntir* Exactly.
*Wyntir* I'm sick of it.
* FrostFang` sighs lightly, still very confused..
*Wyntir* WHich is why, I hardly give a flying fuck.
*Wyntir* No one else seems to.
*Dagda`* Then i guess this is over. If no one is going to care.
*Flames* Kay so lets just end this.
*Flames* We're not getting anywhere.
*Wyntir* Then I'm going to start a pack by myself. As much as I hate this, I cannot leave wolfrp.
* Wyntir has tried.
*Flames* So is this actually it? NH is officially over? *Looks to Dagda and then Wyntir*
* Dagda` wants to try another pack, but wont if she is going to be shot at just for trying to make her point not so much as to insult the intelligence of another but simply so that everyoen is completely understood.
* Wyntir is now known as Wyn|Shower
* Dagda` sighs
*Dagda`* guess that s the answer to that
*Flames* Agreed.
*Flames* Fantastic.
*Wyn|Shower* I promised Ethan a shower, so chill out.
*Wyn|Shower* We'll talk when I get back.
*Wyn|Shower* Geez. *mutters and pads off*
*Flames* I don't even want to be in this pack anyways.
*Wyn|Shower* Then quit your bitching.
* Flames has left #MoonHollow
* Dagda` growls
*FrostFang`* So what...the packs are splitting or is this all over..
*Dagda`* I guess so
*Dagda`* Im going to either start a new pack or return to SB
*Dagda`* ill give it one more shot
*FrostFang`* ...
* FrostFang` doesn't know what to do....
*Dagda`* me either
*Dagda`* Take Care Frost, your welcome to visit us.
* Dagda` nuzzles


Im sorry but if your more interested in screwing your boyfriend in the shower then helping out your pack, I think you desided to disban NightHunters in action rather then words. To think i was actually going to try and make the effort to help them recruite.

I don't know if this makes me sound like an awful person but I'm actually proud of how many people come to SB from other packs. Not saying I like -taking- other members cause I have never pm-ed someone and said "So how about you come and hang out with SB *nudge nudge, wink wink*" People will show up and just OOC for a while, rp a bit and in a few days be like "can i join?" Everyone seems to think that I am poaching, to those of you who read my journal, Im sorry, but I am not. Another false accusation seems to be that everyone likes SB cause its big. Or maybe because we are one of the only packs left that does Para rp and doesn't just type " *sits and yawns* " I know I can't stand Rp like that. When my cut script needs a cut script and you post a one liner it just... kills it x.x. So if anyone would nicely pass the word that no one from SB are poaching, i would be GREATLY appreciative.

I actually found someone I really enjoy Rping with. I have always loved Rping with Skah when he actually does lol, but DestinyRose. Damn that girl can post!!!! Apparently her and Kinmostu had a 5 hour long RP session a couple nights ago. It was awsome! I mean, i like rping with just about everyone but when she posts she actually adds details of things around her. Its amazing!

Flames went back to Kasie. I kinda saw it coming. *shrugs* as long as she is happy that is all that matters. All her pups were like "ZOMG ARE WE STILL ALOUD TO VISIT?!" I told them yes but I dont know how Kasie feels about it.. Since she told everyone else if they visit they cant be in her pack.. or some shit like that. They ahve still been coming around so i guess its okay. Other hten that the new SB layout is up ^^ Im very proud of it. Its a bit less flashy then the last one, but well organized. We may be getting a few new members. Been talking to a few old friends on Furc and Wolfhome.

The holidays are here, so everyones slowly becoming less and less active. I know a few members are going out of town and others have family over so i dont much blame them. Things will pick up after the holidays im sure ^^

Well that concludes this update. happy holidays all!!

(Credit to Luneh for the RL and PL stuffs :P)

~Real Life~

Going, on and off but going. I brought my grades back up finally so everyone could get off my case for that. I am going to try and get a job at Channel 8. A representitive called my school requesting a Graphic Designer who knows how to make websites and has good photoshop skills. I like to think I am fairly qualified. I'll give them a call today and if i can get the job, then talk to my parentals. Maybe if I already have the job insured then Ill be able to convince them to get me a car since its on the other side of town.

I start my college classes Jan 22. Another good reason for me to get a car. I got a call from the Brooks Institute in Cali, they saw my application on a scholarship website that I signed up to and saw some of my work through Deviantart and the links to some of the ewbsites I have made. They really want me there, and I would love to go but I cannot. I dont have the money to go to an out of state college and move out on my own, besides, I have Anthony here.

~Pack Stuff~

Finally I am relaxed. Gosh was it really only a week, a little more, that NightHunters was around? It feels like at least a month -_- I was so stressed that entire time it wasnt even worth it.. I mean is RP really worth it when all the fun is ripped from it by Drama and Stress to the point were you dred even turning on the computer?

No, Finally I am calm. I have realized that NightHunters -was- my home but SweetBreeze -is- my home. It's where I am comfortable. It's not just the name but I know when I left NightHunters that I didn't force anyone to come with me so I know that everyone who came with me WANTS to be there. I know some of the MV members didnt want me there, or my members. I think that, besides the obvious other problems, was the main problem. They didnt accept each other as a family cause they were forced to be together.

SB is doing well. We have 25 members give or take. And a few more pending. I am really greatful to have Flames, Sangre, Crichton and Ivaylo on my council. They are a huge help!!!!!

I suppose it was only a matter of time before NightHunters fell. We were doing well for a while but with all the fighting then members leaving to start their own packs ect, things got tence. SilverHeart, one of those amonge us that desided to make their own pack, PMed me saying "Why do you hate me? Why do you not carea bout me blah blah blah" it was rediculous. After forever and a day of listening to this i finally went off on her and said "I hate you NH hates you The world hates you. Is that what I have to say to make you leave me alone seeing as you wont believe anything to the contrary?" She only took half of that and posted it in NH. It was such a dick move I just lost it. It was so immature, so rude, so ... just fucked up that I said fuck it. Fuck her, fuck NH, fuck everyone and left.

After spending the Night at anthony's and calming down some I got back on. Myself and flames waited all day for Kasie to get on the computer. We didnt want to make any decisions without her. Finaly she comes in and changes her name to Wyn|Appartment and says she has to turn in an application for an apt. So we wait some more. She comes back an hour or so later and we start talking.

I feel that she inforces rules well but doesnt follow them herself. My only problem i had with MV is that i hated going into their OOC cause it was like a preview for a bad videogame. Sex. Drugs. Alcohol. All the time, i have younger members in my pack and I dont want them to be aroudn that all day. A mention here a slip there, fine, but not full on conversations. Same with cussing. No one is sheltered enough to not hear cussing but when every other word is a freaking cuss word you need to upgrade your vocabulary. Those are two things i asked for. All i hear out of kasie is how she whishes she could have sex when she gets fucked 3 times a day on a bad day -_- Shadow says she told him to take off the cussing script i have on weyekin, Kasie claimes she didn't I dont really know or care I just know that it was fucked that soemone did that when its oen of the only things i asked for.

I tell her this on more sugar coated terms and she snaps at me saying she isnt dumb. Well no shit i think i know this -_- Im trying to make myself clear since i obviously didnt the first time. Well she snaps at me and then I said something about wanting to start another pack but wont if im goign to be snapped at. She changed her name to Wyn|Shower and me and flames are like WTF?! we have been waiting all day and its like 6 and she is tkaing a shower?! well we found out it was cause she promised her Boyfriend a shower........ wtf.... we have been waiting all day for her to come on so we can make a joined decision and she is going to go fuck before discussing the fate of a pack that is falling from under her paws. Flames got fed up and said she didnt even want to be there anymore and kasie told her not to bitch, which was uncalled for and rude. So with that we decided that it was over. I cahnged the topic to 'Pack has disbanned if you wish to follow Dagda join #SweetBreeze if you wish to join Wyntir #MoonStar' I never told ANYONE they had to come with me. I never persuaded someone to follow me. They just did.

Flames was going to stay lone but she has pups to think about so she joined SB as Beta. Dawnstar and Nerissa came too and Kenyon said he would but now I guess Kasie persuaded him to play her brother or something like that, which in my eyes counts as poaching :/
Scott saw how hell was breaking loose and offered to start with us again as Crichton. I figured since I wasnt the one that had a problem with Nadia, i would invite her to come too and she came. Kioh and Akuya returned too. SB is home for us and we feel that way and are not sorry about it.

I found out through wound about sorces that Kasie is telling her members that if they want to be with her they cannot be anywhere near SB... Its a pack not a prison. Its not right to do that, not at all. If that is how she chooses to alpha, then it is her choice and i respect that, but I have always told my members they are free to roam where they please. My pack split when dante left, i dont tell them they cant visit.

Leaving NH was hard and easy at the same time. I wont go to bed each night now wondering what sort of crap ill deal with tomorrow. I wont wake up and be relieaved when i see it still up, i wont worry all day if ill come home to craziness.

I Returned to SB cause it is were i feel at home. From the time i asked everyone if they wanted to start a new pack or rebirth SB everyone was in favor of SB's return, from the time i registed the channel i felt less stressed. Now, the only fight we have had was a planned one in character. Im sorry if that is wrong of me, im sorry if that is why Kasie seems so against me that she would tell her members not even to come and visit... but thats how I am and I will stay with SB.

Though we are again irritated with each other, i hope she knows i still offer my services to her. Sisters of Spirit.

I apologize that my last journal was so short, I have been fervently informed that it is unacceptable for me to make small entries. This will be a better entry now that I have the time and the pacience to do so. *Gets a cup of tea and snuggles into her computer chair*

Real life

Could be better, could be worse. We will go down the list of School. Family. Boyfriend. Friends. Since I have a bit to elaborate on. Here it goes:

School- In short? Depressing. I have passed all of my highschool proficiencies except my math. This last time i took it, I got 302 and passing is a 304 I cant even begin to express my sadness.. Like seriously i almost cried, i was so sure I passed it. Well that was pretty much the biggest bummer in a while. Other then that school goes. Im not really doing all that great in my Gov. class but thats because the teacher is all ZOMG YOU MUST BE REPUBLICAN OR JU DIE! and im all... Gov sucks... and yeah but im passing for what its worth.

I also enrolled at the College of Southern Nevada (CSN) were i need to take my placement tests then i will be able to take my math and my english, then come summer I will be able to pick up a graphics class. Which is pretty cool! I start sometime in the spring.

Family- Better then normal, ill give them that. There have been minor scuffs here and there but really the only big problem I have had is my little brother being a pompous over confidante puberty stricken teenager. I still prefer just NOT to be home, just in case.

Boyfriend- We have gotten into a few less-than-scuffs but other then that we are great. We relized as we were filling out applications and stuff that we will be going to the same school lawl. I spend most my time with him. He really is the only thing that encourages me to get up in the mornign sometimes I swear. When even i love his faults lol. Figure that out. o.o

Friends- I ditched ATTC to go and hang with my friends Lilbrother (Ray) and Hogan at taco bell. Afterword we went around collecting and filling out applications. So we go into starbucks, a fedex shop, a pizza place and then come to this vitamin place. Well as you walk in there is like a gallon jug of "Elite" and when we see this buff freaking woman come out of the back room, i mean seriously this was like a female chuck Noris x.x She had this big ol manly voice. We had to fight from laughing. When we left we coudlnt stop gigglign and talking like the terminator o.o I need to hang out with them more often, we actualy had fun.

RP

Its no secret to anyone that SweetBreeze and MoonValley are merging to rebirth NightHunters. I know many people are certin we wont last, hell even me and Kasie are a bit skeptical but we have to try, just to at least say we made the effort. We have our differances but both of us are willing to compromise to try and make this work. For those of you that are so certing that it wont work and ask "What if it doesnt work?" Then we go back to SweetBreeze. Easy as that. At least both me and Kasie will have the benifit of saying that we tried. We both love NightHunters and it will always hold a special place in our hearts as our first family together. We want it to work, we are will to try and make it work, but even we know when the odds are against us. With 50 members thats a big pack to control, not to metion handling disputes and gettign each pack to accept the other till they are sent into a melting pot of bonding and learn to accept each other not as different packs but as one in the same. It will be hard but we will at least try.

Other people are asking "Why are you being such a bitch to dante" and "wtf was with your last entry about Dante" Honestly there is no hidden message people. I'm done with him end of story. He has left Sweetbreeze 5 times, obviously he cant care about it very much. He clames I all but pushed him out, I just didn't stop him. *rolls shoulders in an uncaring way* I stand by what I saw, I read logs and talked to members all of which told me that he was being deliberatly unfair simply because he didnt like a certin wolf. Yes he had the right to ban her but he did not have the right to NOT ban the other wolf involved. I dont care how you slice it, he was playing favorites. You can't do that as an alpha. Not to mention he apparently had been snapping alot, according to frequent PMs and emails from my members he was randomly striking out at different people for different, insignificant things. I dont know if he had a stressful month, or if he let alpha go to his head, or if he was on a power trip or if maybe he was being extra strict in my absence but whatever it was - It wasnt right. And for him to make sardonic remarks to me as "I might as well unban wyntir to" is not acceptable...

Even after he left, I admit we left on a bad note. I didnt want it to end that way so I made an extra point to offer them anything I could give. My currently updated bot scripts, I offered to help recruite for them instead of my own pack and to make them a site. I feel I did my part to go the extra mile to try and keep the peace between us. One day while I am at my house working on the layout for their pack, went to talk to Imoen, when i Whois'd her i saw the Sr_ooc channel and did a /info on it to find that it is a hidden channel for their new pack, not the one i was making a site for, the one that they had made. Okay so i asked Dante about it, Dante denied everything. So I thought perhaps Imoen had the channel premade in anticipation for a merge. Well Later on i google it and find out it active. And that it was a hidden channel and that Dante was in it. He knew about it, and while I was busting my but on a site they obviously werent going to use because it was for TwoRivers not SpiritRivers, they were hiding their pack from me cause i guess im a neusince or something. So I said fuck it told them im not going to be used and left.

Dante made up some lame excuse of how he didnt know who Sadie was because he was medicated at the time. Understanadable but i had said SpiritSeekers. Drugged or not he knows damn well who they are. So now he had lied to me and I am done. I was going to go out of my way to be of assistance and that is what i got in return, but oh no does it end there? Of course not.

Now apparently Whitewolf has the right to roam around stalking wolves she doesnt know but only the filth Dante has muttered about them and harass them. Kalari goes into ES to talk to Hin and is jumped on by whitewolf. It was rediculous. This is right after White had come into my channel to start shit by making snide remarks before she leaves *Whitewolf snarls seeing Kalari* Oh no it is just way to hard to type *got to go* instead or make up a lame excuse * i need to feed the hippos * thats just to easy we have to get specific, specify people and start shit. I PM her to ask her not to do that and she turns on me saying that its probly better for SB that Kal isnt there and that if it were her pack she wouldnt let her there. I dont care about your personal opinion, if you like her great, if you dont, thats good to, but you have to take the time to make that assumption. Apparently she, liek everyone seems to know what is best for MY pack. lawl. And now it seems I never existed. Ya know i expected a bit of credit maybe a line on the credits page *Thanks dag for OFFERING to make us a site and recruite.* yaknow just for my futile efforts but noooooooo what it should read is this:

*thank you dag for, even though our alpha male was a jerk to you, coming to us with the best paw forward to try and keep the peace by offering to make us a site that we are to ungreatful to tell you that even though your busting your ass on it we wont be using it cause we merged the pack and hid the channel so you wouldnt find it. Thank you for not having WhiteWolf banned from the server for the continual harassment in more then one channel of any one persons. And than you for so willingly offering us your updated bot scripts that you stayed up hours completeing having not only your pack in mind but ours as well even though we are to ungreatful to even so much as mention you."

But they will thank Kovo for "all they know" o.o Dont get me wrong Kovo is a brilliant alpha nad a great teacher but umm... I dont know why i seem to have these weird memories of teaching Dante about RP... Of teaching him how to be an alpha... or of going out of my way to get whitewolf to be alloud to come to SB cause I thought Dante deserved a chance to actually be happy with another wolf seeing as his last one disappeared. But am i given any credit. Nope.

Im tired of helping packs. I help SpiritSeekers, not only with pack stuff but I help their alpha out with some stuff with a friend, i offered them a site and helped them gather members and gave them support, who do they go to? Not me. Dante. o.o?

I helped DuskWatchers set up everything evne though they seem to be totally clueless as to anything a pack is suppose to do. And one of their members for one reason or another seems to think she can come into my channel and tell me what to do then PM me saying " I wont leave you alone until you unban me k?" then their alpha comes in, after recieving logs from me, and calls me childish LAWL.

I think the only pack that I have helped that hasnt fucked me over has been EarthenSong and moonValley. halarious huh?

Honestly its the he said she said and idiots following it that make RP unbarable. If you dont have the common scence to make your own decisions rather then hearing them from a third party, perhaps you should just put the keybored away. I swear to god sometimes Its not even worth it to get on IRC cause I know im going to end up yelling at someone for doing something retarded. I believe that I have done enough to at least deserve polite respect which for whatever given reason, people dont think I deserve, though i give it to everyone, even those who DONT deserve it.

Unfortunatly i feel my rp days are speeding down a hill toward a dead end. SweetBreeze doesnt feel right without Dante. As angry and hurt as I am by him, he has stood by me in it for as long as i can remember (minus the 4 times he left) but it doesnt seem moreally right to keep it without him.. but if NH falls, then we will return to SB and perhaps i will step down to elder. The fun is being lost in the drama and such and I really cant handle it right now. I dont need this sort of crap. Hopefully Nighthunters will survive. all im asking is that the drama will stop... that seems almost as likely as asking the earth to stop turning

NightHunters. My first home. My first family. Were me and Alyth ran it side by side. Though i was only a gamma at the time. It was our pack. Truely our home. Now, it is going to come again.

SweetBreeze isnt right without Dante. No matter how angry I am with him or how hurt I am by his leaving, I loved him as my coalpha, my friend and my grandda... He was at my side since SB began and it was our pack... It doesnt feel right to go on with it without him.

This is why me and Kasie are rebirthing NightHunters. We are merging SweetBreeze, and MoonValley. Together, Kasie and I, along with Sangre, Flames and all of our members we will bring NightHunters back to its full glory. It wont be the same as 3 years ago, I know this, but at least I will have what I have been looking for all along. Family.

Both SB and MV members are hesitant about it but willing to try. We hope for the best but prepare for the worst.

Sorry this is such a sort entry

Okay so the only person I have ever trusted fully with my pack was Dante. He has been at my side since he first wondered into our channel back in KrimsonShadows as Tavsginawaya (devilwolf) We immediatly connected and aside from being elder he was quickly promoted to beta and even then to Alpha. Now, call me a bit of a bitch but as far as i was concerned we may both have been alphas but it is MY pack and I was SHARING it with him. SB is one of the closest things I hold to my heart. I busted my ass to keep that pack up and well. I stuck through it through the good and through the bad and though I may have THOUGHT about leaving or disbanning it has never happend. He has left SB 4 times. 3 as DevilWolf and once as Dante.

So in my recent absence I have been so upset and worried and my only comfort was that I knew Dante was there along with Sangre and Ivaylo. I knew they would take care of things for me. Everyone asked me what Dante's problem was and... I honestly dont know. Its like i havent really known him for the last 2 months.. Its been really upsetting. He seems to either have let alpha go to his head or gotten power happy. He banned Kalari for absolutly no reason other then she is friends with Kasie and Kasie was banned. I was like wtf? lift the ban and he starts saying shit like "oh okay whatever i might as well lift the ban on Kasie" ... wtf? But he did it so i ignored it. That was fallowed by apparently he was going to be using a different bot script for our hunting bot and didnt even consult me about it, made it a rule that you have to ask someone to PM them... Im like... .HELLO IM ALPHA TOO K -_-

Well one morning I wake up to find like 4 instant messages on my cell phone, text messages and voicemails from random people in my pack all pretty much saying that they are walking on eggshells cause they think Dante might flip on them. Im like .... huh? Then i get a log from Kalari.

Ya know what, when packs split its hard. It causes alot of tension and all that crap. Naida and a few others split off from MV. Naida is very paranoid and it seems that she thought Kalari was a spy. So she kept saying it. Kalari finally lost it and barked back, Kal is a smart ass and so she made a wise comment to something Nadia said, Dante jumped all over that shit. He was on her like stink on a warthog. They fought and even though in the end Kalari and Nadia BOTH should have been banned only Kalari was.

This is what i wake up to. So I get on MSN and talk to dante and he is saying im taking her side and blah blah blah... no shit! I have half the pack telling me you have f-ing lost it x.x what am i suppose to think. He said something along the lines of "Well then you better come get your pack" I told him if he leaves again, he wont be coming back. He agreed and ran off to start yet ANOTHER pack -_- great...

.. not.

My mom is offically on my bad side. She went behind my back after I told her I didn't want to do ATTC anymore and called my teacher. Mr. Clark said "She isnt the same girl that left my class last year." So now I have two choices.

1. Stay at ATTC
2. Drop out of ATTC and get a job within three months or get kicked out.

Umm some alternitive eh?

So now i get to set in a class were im doing nothing anyway. Goodie. I get to sit and be bored out of my mind. Its like im playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. We are using Dreamweaver, which creates a code for you. I already know how to make code, i write it, I read it, i know it. I dont need some half assed shitty piece of unstable softwear to do it for me kthx.

But Mommy knows best. So now im stuck there. Im not going to help anyone (Sept mr. Clark and Stephen) Ill be a good doggie and do my work in class *all over again* Ill Make sure i get pretty stright A's in school and just be a little fucking clone like everyone else. Woohpee im so f-ing excited.

PS. My journal and $300 is missing ^^ fun huh?

When you lose heart for something you just don't want to continue it. Im sorry to the people that can't seem to understand it but it is the undeniable truth and everyone needs to deal with it.

I have lost the heart for ATTC. My second school. My teacher is cross with me because for some odd reason I was in a really bad mood seeing as I was kicked out of the house and couldn't even get to my DreamWeaver lessons so now I am officially failing the class with a 0%F :/ Mr. Clark has been really cold towards me since then.

This is going to sound extrodinarily racist but I hate the black kids in my class :/ Last year all I did was bust my ass to help them AND get all my work done, I did extra projects for clients outside of the school, helped out with open houses and ran booths for my class. Even this year, since we are working on DreamWeaver and HTML and stuff that I already have mild knowledge of, I have helped and tried to stay ahead of everyone so I can help them. Mr. clark lets us bring "clean" music to class, I got a bunch of music and had my brothers throw some rap songs on there cause i dont like any of it so i have no clue what is "good" So even then I was thinking about what would make the CLASS happy not just ME. So when we were running for class officers I was SURE I would have gotten the position of President :/ Not. There were 7 votes for me (ironic as there is 7 non-black students in the class) and all the black people voted for their friends who said "I just want to be presidant." -_- RAWR.

Besides the acute lack of intelligence in that class, dispite the fact that i help everyone, i get called a kiss ass, a suck up, a bitch, ect for HELPING PEOPLE!!! WTF? I thoughtt that was a GOOD thing ._. guess not.

I'm transfering out of the class and back to my homeschool. I know everyone is like WELL ZOMG WHY WOULD YOU DO DAT?! Well, for you nosie people that cant help but pester me continually about it, its because its pointless. I will be busting my ass for a teacher that doesnt like me, a group of ungrateful, stuck up, snobby, two faced niggers and an internship that I wont even be able to go on due to the fact that I have no car to get there. So, Unfortunatly that is it. Reality sucks ass, deal with it.

Wow, things have gotten insane on this end.

So for the last... god, since she moved in with us wehn i was 7, my grandmother has been doing the dishes. Well she has progressively become a senile old bitch in denal so when she does the dishes they still have shit on them x.x like caked on cheese or hardend ketchup x.x its pretty gross to pull out of the cabnet. So I took up the job and did it right. Well, she gets these strange urges to do the dishes and ends up putting them away dirty and guess who gets bitched at? me. Because its -my- job. So i kindly ask her to stop doing it. She does it again, i take the heat. I TELL her to stop. She does it again, I get yelled at. I SCREAM at her not to do it again. This has been going on for the last 4 months give or take and Im sick of getting screamed at when its not my fault!! So I told the old hag she can do them and that she can get screamed at instead. So I stopped doing them. 3 days goes by and she doesnt do the dishes.

My dad comes home with dinner and says "What the hell is with all the dishes" I tell him that Im not doing them anymore cause im not going to take the heat for my idiot grandmother anymore. He takes all our dinner upstairs, comes back down, rips the mouse off the computer and takes out the power cord. Me: o.o

He starts bitching. For those who read that do not know how my father is, he doesnt listen to reason when he gets like that. You could tell him the god-honest truth and he wouldnt give two shits. So when I try to explain he starts screaming about how we ( me and my brothers ) are worthless pieces of shit yadda yadda yadda. Im about to scream so I go upstairs. Normally that is the end of it. No, not this time. This time, He fallowed me up the stairs and kept screaming. I was going to loose my freaking mind. I put on my shoes and told him i was going for a walk. I left. Christian (my brother) followed after me.

We went to the park near my house and I had a mental fucking breakdown. Do you have any idea what it is like to be broken down little by little everyday? To be furiously bitched at for things that dont even involve you? To be put down for every good thing you do? Well thats my life ever fucking day. I bring home an A on a math test and my dad says "Congradulations, your passing retard math" :/ thanks dad, your so encouraging.

So we sat. For 3 hours we sat in the park. Not wanting to go home. Anthony was going to come and get me, but i didnt want to put that on his parents. Finally my mom came home and we were sure he was asleep. We went back in.

The next day at school I relize all my ATTC files, my classwork and all, is on my computer. All of it. We build on 3 websites during 12 chapters. I had done 3 chapters on my school computer. That means i would have to start over from Chapter three and work all the way back up to 12. Mind you each Chapter is about 5 lessons, a skills review, a design project, a portfolio project and 2 project builders. Not happening :/ I also come to relize that we are ending the first quarter. One more quarter and we will be going out on our internships. I have busted my ass for the last year, and now this year to go on this internship and now, because my cheep ass parents dont know what its like to SAVE money, I cant go. Ill be doing bookwork in the library for 3 hours everyday... I think not. So I texed my mom and told her second semester I might as well just drop out. She says something along the lines of "well you have put in so much effort" Well it means nothing if i cant GET THERE -_- So yeah.. I also told her about my lessons being on the home computer. Dad sends me a text saying "The mouse will be put back tonight. You may have won the battle, but you have not won the war. Your going to need something at some point" I send one back saying "I dont want anything and I havnt won anything. your the one winning, Im dropping out of ATTC just like you wanted me to, I feel like shit, just like you wanted me to, congrats on your valient victory" he said some shit about "I will do everyhting myself blah blah" and i pretty much laid the guilt on him.

Well come now to the fact that he doesnt even acknowledge my existance, I dont expect to get shit for my birthday and I only seem to come home to sleep. Anthony comes and picks me up after work every day and I go over there untill around 9 - 10 pm.

So when shit hits the fan, Lookout, cause its not pretty :/

Okay so this is going to be quite the little rant I have going here. So if you don't like it, you may want to stop now.

Idiocy. I swear its contageous. One infected mind passes it to others and soon the world is populated with these utterly ignorant beings that just don't seem to know what to do with themselves, except intentionally infuriate those around them.

Okay so lets talk hypothetically. So you piss someone of, I mean you REALLY piss someone off by oh.. lets say, stealing their art work for starters. Okay so maybe the first time you didn't know any better, the second time, you just wanted to see if you'd get away with it and the third time you just relaps. Thats three chances right? Reasonable enough? I think it is. But then you go and take that SAME PERSONS other stuff... say... their website layouts. No it may not be THEIRS but seeing as your know KNOWN for stealing THEIR stuff, wouldnt you think "wow maybe i shouldnt do this?" I would. But you do it anyway, not once but MANY times. For like.. lets streach it out for oh say... 2+ years? At this point the person you keep stealing from is so infuriated with you that if you just do the smallest thing like them, they freak out on you. But you have no idea why, its not THEIR stuff. You cant copyright words, or pictures you didn't take/draw, or pictures of yourself. They don't own certin words like "WOLF" and "SPIRIT" but because that relates to them, they are pissed! I wonder why? Maybe you have just put them in a state of utter paranoia were they get pissed at EVERYONE now for the little things cause you have broken them after 2+ years of your constant ignorance and theiving. Then you wonder why they move away from you, want nothing to do with you and intentionally tell you DONT DO ANYTHING THAT REALATES TO ME!!! Dont you think by then you would get the picture? No, after that you desided that okay, maybe i should back off of this person and move onto another. Oh well if i just change the colors on something its different right? Not the same? but we will leave everything in the exact same layout, just change the wording slighty like oh say... this picture... http://i179.photobucket.com/albums/w281/ZodiacWolfen/SB/compaare.jpg look awful simalar dont they? Everyone I have talked to seems to think so. Then the person you took that from calls you out on it and you go WELL I DIDNT THINK YOU'D CARE!!!! after you have already stolen from this person and swore up and down that you will ask permission to use any of there stuff from now on. o.O sounds like your full of shit huh?


Moving on up. Parents.
Oh i love my parents, i have to. They keep a roof over my head, brought me up, sat by my bed when i was sick, helped me with homework, keep food in my belly and cloths on my skin. But that doesnt mean i have to like them. Right now i dislike them, entirly. So they told me they will not get me a car if their lives depended on it. -_- how nice. Screw you guys. So I desided to rasie my own money until i can get a job (which is hard without a car) So i started selling Candy at school for $1 a piece. I have been saving up the money i get and its in a "car fund" that I havnt touched!! only once when my mom and dad asked if I could give my brothers $5 for a football game. Other then that i havnt taken any money out of that fund. I stupidly told my parents im saving up by myself and my mom goes "Oh so you HAVE money, we dont have to give you any" -_- your defeating the purpose...

I tell her im saving up for a car and she tells me to spend it on movies, and cloths... shit SHE Is suppose to pay for ... seing as she is my parent... -_- bleh, just cause she never knew how to prioritize and say "hey whats more important, a car that will take me to and from work, that will help me get money to pay bills or this really cute outfit that i can wear once a week?" Its rediculous.

Oh and my brother said "your birthday is like.. next weekend! your going to be 18 what are you going to do for your birthday?" Me: "nothing" Him: "What? Its your 18th birthday, its suppose to be one of those bad ass birthdays!" Me:"Probly just go to the movies or go bowling or something" Dad:"You better get a job to pay for that then huh?" Yeah he pretty much said that im not going to be having a birthday -_- Im not really one to get excited about birthdays.. but yeah that kinda blows ballz.

Not to mention that as well as SB is doing, Some things are just rubbing my fur the wrong way so badly to the point were I really feel like giving up.. I knwo I wont because SB is my family, my friends and really the only thing besides anthony that isnt makeing me want to jump off a cliff. I'm still periodically reciving those stupid sb/dagda hating emails, and to you i just want to say FUCK YOU one more time cause I know whoever is sending them reads my LJ.

I really feel like everything is crashing in on me. Anthony is a great help, he is loving and supportive but even he rubs my fur the wrong way on occasion. Im trying anything I can to get the fuck out of this house but I need a car first. Once i get a car and a job ill be out. Home free. but then i need someplace to stay. Anthony always finds a way to defumble my hopes. Not in a mean way but sorta by smacking reality on me. He is doing college and Im going to be doing college and we both need to pay for that and help to pay for groceries ect if we move in with Dee and her boyfriend Ron.... its all to much really and im sufficating in it all. I dont know what to do, where to turn or how to handle it.
Im just lost.

I figured while I'm sitting here at school for the next 15 min I could do SOMETHING productive and give my readers something to occupy themsevles for the next few min. while they read.

Parentals
Just getting worse by the day, I cant ask them for anything, they want ME to pay for MY "birthday party" which consists of me, Anthony, Matt, shadow and maybe my friend Angela coming with me to the movies and bowling. Why should I have to pay for MY party, Im 18, isnt this one of those birthdays were everyone is suppose to be psyced? I thought it was but apparently it just means "My kid needs to pay for their won shit" :/ they are definatly off my x-mas list.

Pack
After a particularly annoying problem with a few of my members that can't seem to decifer what CAN and CANNOT realistically happen, I felt a tad better just to find myself irritated once more. I come to find out that Nikki (Willow) Can't seem to stop throwing herself at members of the pack. Apparently she and blackpaw have made a disturbing habbit of cybering every night they are both on or something like that. Im tired of it, they were warned and now they will suffer the concequences. I suppose they can go be someone elses problem.

Other then that the pack is doing very well. Whitewolf's sister joined, Honi and so did Darklight's friend Moon.

Parental Update

They are still on my nerves. I don't remember if i posted about how they were smoking weed when Jackie was over at my house but yeah, I caught them and they told me it was inscence x.x
I have come to the conclusion that the reason they are always so angry with me is because im not as ignorant as they want me to be. If i was they wouldnt have to worry about me knowing what marijuana smells like and acting like a mindless droid "inscence. Okay." -_- freaking unbelievable.

Weekend

Freaking amazing!! Friday night me and Anthony went to go pick up Kasie at the airport. She got losteded and it took like 15 min to find her but we did ^^ we left her stuffs in the car and went to the Ren fair right after and i made her get an outfit lol. She fought me on it first but gave in ;) We just shopped most of Friday, and watched a halariously crude jugglar.

We went back to my house and watched GingerSnaps, not getting to bed till around 2am x.x we were up again at 8 30 and got all dressed up so my parents could take us. We ran around the fair for a few hours, watching various shows and shoping here and there at the little shops and stuffs. Some guy called us Wenches and I thought Kasie was going to eat him. x.x When we were standing in line for funnel cake some lady was like "OMG your outfits are the cutest! Will you take a picture with my son?" lol we did. He was so cute, he was like... 3 and looked like bambam from the flinstones!!! haha.

On the third day Anthony came and picked us up and we stayed at the fair until 5:30 when it closed. We did most our shopping then. Kasie got a perdyful jingly thing of A.D.D goodness that was uber shiny. It was the dancers coins. While walking past the barbarians encampment I stupidly made eyecontact with one of them and two others came chasing after me. I ducked into a crowed and would have gotten away if it wasnt for Ricky pointing me out. I jumped into one of the performances that were going on and sat next to the biggest guy I could find and said "Your my dad" and tried to blend in. Unfortunatly the guy that originally summoned me was walking toward me, i yipped and tried to run away and amost ran right into the two that had come to catch me, but managed to side step and run faster then the did ^^ Right after that some guy tried to capture and inslave Kasie x.x me and ron saved her after a flight,

Unfortunatly i didn't get any sasperella, a turkey leg and Kasie had to go home ;-;

It was fun while it lasted and it was great being able to FINALLY meet muh Sisseh.

Okay again about my parents:

*ahem* I am being singled out. I didn't notice it until my brothers pointed it out. Everything is my fault. My mom and dad for whatever reason bought my brothers cigars and then they got caught smoking them and it was MY fault for not keeping an eye on them. The boys dont do their chores, that are plainly listed on the refregerator, and I get blamed for it for not "taking the initiative to make them work" and my current favorite accusation "You are denying yourself the right to a car and a job just to go to ATTC, Congradulations"- Dad

O.O Attc is a technical trade school were I am attending, learning how to do graphic arts and HTML I have learned so much over there its freaking rediculous. I have learned more there in the last two years then I ever have in the high school i have been attending for 4 years. My dad doesnt approve of the school and thinks it is shitty so he is always putting me down about it. How many parents WISH their kid would go over and beyond and actually go to TWO schools. Parently not mine.

Unfortunatly by going to ATTC I get home at 3:30 instead of 2:00. ATTC gets out at 2:00 then my bus has like 7 stops and I dont get home till 3:30. Well thats already a hinderance. Added to the fact that I have no reliable mode of transportation, so were ever I work has to be within a certin distance of my house so I can effectivly come home, change, and walk to any place i work.

I have been looking for a job since the end of last school year in June. Filling out applications online, harassing the shit out of managers ect. Finally I get 3 calls last week. One from Micheals Craft Store, automatically didn't get it because i didnt have a reliable sorce of transportation. Petsmart- to far away and they wanted me to start at 3:00. HollyWood Video- I actually got the interview! hopefully that works! So the manager at Hollywood Video calls me and asks if i am availble for an interview, I say yes and he tells me its at 4:40. I call my dad who is at work and ask him if he will be home by then and he says yes. He calls back 30+ min later and conferms that he is going to drop me off and, Seeing as my friend ryan was here and we were going to walk the strip, i asked him if i could have some money just incase we stop for food.

Now keep in mind that i hardly EVER ask for money. I hate muching off my parents, I am keenly awear of the fact that without them i wouldnt have a house or money or ... dun dun dun, internet access *screamsl ike in a horror movie* o.o

He says "Yeah ill give you $20 but you better not ask your mom for money" Me: o.o If i have money from you why would i ask money from her? Dad: freaks the fuck out and starts screaming about how I should have a job to have money for "pointless bullshit" like hanging out with my friends.

Now, keep in mind that i really HAVE no friends. All my friends are on the internet. I have Jackie, who is sorta... well not so much a friend but more so like an obnoxious little sister, cool to hang out with sometimes but only good in small doses and my boyfriend Anthony. When i say im going to go hang out with someone other then those two people my parents have to call other paretns to make sure they are real -_- So yeah, I NEVER ask for money and i hardly EVER go out with ANY friends. So for him to deny me that and call it "pointless bullshit" after he rants and raves about how i need to get out more and hang out with them x.x blah!!!!!!

So im trying to explain to him why its so hard for me to get a job, he sits there and says the "well its all because you go to ATTC, you gave up the right to a job and to a car because you go there, congradulations" O.O -_-

Well he comes home in a -delightful- mood. Id much rather avoid him so i had my friend matt take me to the interview and drop me off, from there I had anthony come and pick me up. After the interview, I called home to check in. I tell eric that im going to anthony's and then anthony was going to drop me off on the strip so i can find ryan. Eric tells my dad and he says "what does that have to do with me?" This is coming from the same guy that tells me to check in every half hour so he can be sure im not "laying in the street chopped up and raped somewhere" ...... Im just like "FU" and hang up.

Since then I havnt talked to him, im leaving as soon as my boyfriend wakes up and i plan on not asking my dad for shit until i absolutly have to. Fucker.

*/rant*

on a happier note only about two weeks till my Spirit sisseh is going to come stay with me!!!!!!!!! Im excited, though i havnt made warning signs yet o.o;

School... is kicking my ass :/ Though i only have 4 home school classes and then ATTC I swear I am loosing my mind.. I finally got out of my god awful Algebra 2 class. I'm now a student aid. Thats not so tough, but I hate my government class cause im totally detached and uninterested. We took a practice proficiency in my Math Apps class :/ that didn't go so well. Its so frustrating... its like "Take this equation and reword it" or "how else would you set up this equation" WHO CARES HOW IT'S SET UP AS LONG AS IT GETS SOLVED!!! -_- jerks. Then there is my Creative Writing class... quite possibly my favorite class of all. The teacher is awsome and we get to write every day!! The only thing that might top that is Graphics but even that is becoming teadious as I am trying to keep ahead of the class in Dreamweaver so I can continue working on my shirts.

RolePlay... honestly I really don't know. I'm not around enough to really know. From what I hear from a couple people its doing okay, not amazing but its there. Others are complaining there is no roleplay at all, but that may be the times that they get there. Again I cant even begin to express how thankful I am to have Dante. I feel alot better knowing that he is there on and off. We are also promoting Sangre (Justine) To beta at the next meeting. Ill feel loads better knowing they are in charge. I am also going to talk to Dante about giving High Council members access to the bots so that hunters can add stuff to the cache ect.

Love... I don't remember if i posted it or not but Anthony decided not to leave. He isnt going to the Coast Guard. He didn't get cold feet, or puss out. He just relized its not what he wanted. He didn't want to go. I'm so incredibly glad that he stayed. He is getting a job fixing cars for now. He takes such good care of me I don't know what I would do without him.

The Plan ... Is slowly coming into place. Kovo is sending me her old laptop, I have a million applications in all over the freaking place and Im really hinting to my parents that I dont want anything except a car for my birthday. Hopefully I get one of these freaking jobs :/ Im getting sort of desperate.